


Dull Humans

by PumpkinBumpkin (QuailQuill)



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 16:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3902305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuailQuill/pseuds/PumpkinBumpkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to Bill's annoying brother Tad's ideas, Bill is forced into the human world and has to find a way to survive. Dipper and Mabel chance upon him, not knowing that he is truly an evil triangle, and try to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dull Humans

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! Thanks for trying out my fic. Quick pre-info (mostly based upon the Bill Cipher AMA): Tad Strange in this fic is Bill's older brother, and I took the info given from the question "Do you have a family" and the reply "Not anymore" and put it in this fic in an amusing way.

The calm grey of the dreamscape rippled around the bright pulsing yellow of a powerful, dapper triangle. Today was going to be a good day. Today the all mighty Bill Cipher, a being of pure energy with omnipotent sight, was going to further things in his plans. Big things were about to go down, and he was going to cause them. 

"Brother, are you monologuing again..." 

Dammit. Bill had let Tad Strange sneak up on him again.

"Go away you boring square, and don't call me your brother! I don't have a family anymore!"

"Bill, this is getting ridiculous. Why do you insist on meddling with the worthless humans? And Bill, just because you are going through a stage of angst does not mean you can just disown us."

"Yes it does! I'm a being of pure energy! I can do what I want! The humans will all one day bow down to me! I just need a bit more time... Everything's falling in to place, Tad! Soon I will have them all under my thumb!"

Tad sighed and looked as done as a floating square could.

"I didn't want to do this, Bill but mother insisted that if you didn't stop this crazy obsession that you would have to learn a lesson."

Bill laughed with a crazed look in his eye.

"You? What could you do? While you have been passing time in the dreamscape like the dull square you are, I've been gaining power. You can't stop me Tad!"

"We've always known who the stronger sibling was Bill, and it's always been me, and no little planet like Earth is ever going to give you enough power to defeat me. Mother and I talked it over, and we both think that perhaps the best course of action here is to let you live the way these mortals do to see how dull humans really are. You always get obsessed when you find something different and new, and with only your little pinhole perspectives on their world, you don't see how boring and worthless they really are. We'll bring you back when you have learned that this is a silly obsession, and are ready to do serious things, so maybe a hundred of those silly human years or so. So, see you soon brother. I hope you learn"

If Bill had a mouth it would be wide open. His plans were so close to fruition, and he couldn't complete them as a squishy meat sack! And Tad called him his brother again! Damn that dumb square! This human 'obsession' wasn't a phase! It was a way to get power! But before Bill could voice his distress, Tad tapped Bill with his umbrella in a bout of blue fire, sending Bill to his 'learning experience'

 

Oh my. What was that thumping sound in his chest? It almost felt like that one time when he possessed that, oh no. It couldn't be. Tad wouldn't have just thrown him out into the world and into a body would he?

Bill looked down and sighed with relief. No dumb orange shirt, it was yellow. Nothing to worry about. Wait. Why was he wearing a shirt. He didn't wear shirts. He had no use for clothing other than his fancy bow tie. And was that a torso the shirt was on? Oh no. Oh no. He couldn't be in a humans body. No. Of course not. That would interfere with his plans. He was just in the dreamscape and Tad was playing a cruel trick. Except Tad doesn't play tricks, that was a Bill thing. 

So, he was stuck on earth. As a human. In the middle of a....forest? Okay. Survival. Humans are vulnerable flesh sticks that need things to continue existing. What did they need again? Sleep. That was one. He learned that one the hard way, and the whole dream demon thing led him to that one as well. And, um, soda? Humans drank soda a lot. 

"Hey there, are you lost? If you're looking for love, you can find it right here." 

The last part was whispered with passion, and he could almost imagine the girl speaking it having her pupils dilate as her voice went down. Bill whipped around towards the noise. Oh no. Oh he wished he believed in a deity for him to pray to. Not these two. Out of the billions on earth, it had to be these two. 

"Uhm. Yes I am, wait no, I'm not lost, well maybe I am, but I'm fine" Bill hurriedly answered. "And no I'm not looking for love." His smugly smiled on the inside. One conversation down and they wouldn't suspect a thing. They wouldn't know that the almighty Bill Cipher, dream demon extraordinaire, was stuck in this powerless shell.

Another voice sighed. "Mabel, do you really have to harass every single boy we come across. Sorry man, my sister is a little bit on the crazy side." Mable punched him in the arm, a solid thump noise punctuating the conversation. "Ow! Mabel, what's your deal?"

"You're ruining my chances of true love Dipper! Don't you want your sister to be happy?" Mabel shot a puppy-eyed stare at Dipper, earning a grumble from within the angsty pre-teen's throat. 

"Fine, do whatever, sorry man, she'll stop obsessing over you in like a week. Just be strong."

Bill was confused. What were they talking about. Normally the only things humans said to him was "Demon I command you to blah blah blah" or "What in the name of God was That?!" or sometimes even, "My hand! What have you done to my hand?!" This was an odd change of pace. But perhaps it could give him some info on his enemies mind, some leverage to make his plans go smoother. This could work out. Also he hadn't quite figured out how to turn back, so this was a nice 'plan B' that could help him out in the meantime. And, who knows, maybe that kid's journal had some info that could help him out. And then he could destroy it! This was a great plan B! Everything was falling into place, just as Bill had planned it to. 

"Hey, your acute triangle. You get it. It's because your shirt had triangles on it. And I think you're cute. And acute is a type of triangle." Mabel looked awkwardly at Bill. Or maybe this wasn't such a great plan B. 

Dipper looked apologetically at him. "So, what's your name dude?"

"It's William. William Ceaser." 

“I’m Dipper, and this is my sister Mabel.”

“But you can call me the girl of your dreams” added in Mabel. Dipper sighed.

“Hey man, I don't think I've seen you around before. Are you from Gravity Falls?” asked Dipper.

“Uhm, no. I'm just visiting.” replied the surprisingly human shaped triangle. “Uh.. I have to go…. somewhere else.” William said, dashing away through the underbrush of the forest. He didn't want to deal with these confusing humans. Scratch plan B. Plan B was bad. Plan C now. Bill looked around the forest. He didn't recognize any of it. 

"Dammit." Bill angrily whispered into the air. "Dumb forests with there dumb growing and changing into forests I don't recognize." He slumped onto fallen tree, bringing his knees up to his face. Stupid Tad. Stupid kids. Stupid everything. He curled himself into a ball and started to sniffle. It was all going to be so great. He was going to rule the earth, maybe destroy parts of it, sap of its energy and become a super powerful demon. Just like his mom always expected him to be. He could've been better than his brother for once. A tear rolled down his cheek. 

"Hey, William? Are you out here? It's kinda full of monsters, I mean um, dangerous wildlife, out here and I didn't want to be eaten." A voice called out. Shoot. He couldn't let the kids see him like this. He rubbed his eyes and blew his nose on a nearby leaf. Humans were so gross, why did they have so many bodily fluids? He could deal with the monsters himself anyway, and all powerful demon like him, no problem. Wait. This body didn't transfer any of his power. Oh man he would be screwed. Ok. Out of the forest then. But how?

"William?"

Oh yeah that. He could go with Pine Tree. He probably shouldn't call him Pine Tree. That could give him away. There was no way he would let those kids associate this worthless shell with his all powerful demon form. So go with Dipper back to Gravity Falls, and then find somewhere to sleep. Easy Peasy. Plan C was going great. 

"Over here, pi-" whoops, "Dipper." nice save. "I guess I thought the town was this way, it's been a while since I last visited this town. Stuffs all weird now. Dipper noticed the puffy eyes and red nose that now adorned the kids face. 

"Hey dude, are you okay? Are you staying with anyone here? Or did you come with some other people." 

"No."

"Wait, what, do you have like money or something?"

"No."

"Were you just like, abandoned here?"

"Sorta."

"Dude." Dipper looked with a shocked face at William. "So, do you have anywhere to stay?"

"No." Bill was at the brink of tears. Stuff was getting out of hand, he didn't have any control or a plan, and this puny human was taking pity on him. Him! The great demon Bill Cipher! He caused pain to Dipper's family! Bill should be his worst enemy! But Bill was in such a bad shape, this pitiful excuse for a person took pity on him. Dipper sighed.

"Hey man, how about we go meet back up with Mabel and we bring you to my grunkle. Then we can try to contact someone or at least set you up somewhere to sleep for now." Bill nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He needed somewhere to sleep. And to observe some of the human needs to function. He had to take care of this body until Tad brought him back to the dreamscape. If he didn't, if he died before then, well, he didn't know what would happen, but he couldn't take any chances.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the first chapter! Please comment for any mistakes you find (so I can fix them) or any thoughts you might have on the fic. Kudos would also be much appreciated. They will fuel my ego.


End file.
